Becoming Happy Religious People

By Sheima Sumer

Many of us have seen some supposedly religious people who appear unhappy, scary, grim, or angry. Why do they appear this way? How can they adopt an understanding of religion and God that promotes happiness instead?

In this essay, I’d like to reflect on some reasons for unhappy religious people and then offer some suggestions about ways to think about God in order to become happier religious people.

Six reasons some religious people are unhappy:

1. They see religion mainly as a bunch of limiting rules.

Rather than seeing religion for what it is—a way to connect with God—they primarily see it as a rule book that limits their lives and joy. They don’t reflect on the purpose behind rules, and they don’t realize that rules are not the goal; God is.

2. They focus on the parts of religion that emphasize punishment and the evils of this worldly life.

Rather than focusing on God’s mercy and blessings, they think that religion is all about punishing sinners and shunning this world.

3. They think that we are not supposed to enjoy this worldly life.

Rather than adopting a middle ground, where this life is to be enjoyed within limits, they adopt an extreme thinking, believing that we are not supposed to have fun in this life.

4. They make religion too hard on themselves and show a lack of balance

Some religious people adhere to the most stringent interpretation of their religion, creating hardship in their lives while God does not want to make our lives more difficult.

5. Maybe they are inwardly not happy with their religion.

Perhaps some religious people don’t truly want to be of their religion, and they feel pressured by society to act religious even though they don’t believe in their religion in their hearts.

6. Perhaps they are not happy with life in general or are facing personal problems.

Sometimes, the issue is just personal—some religious people feel trapped in circumstances they don’t want to be in.

Six ways to think about God in order to become happier religious people:

1. God is Good, therefore He wants goodness for us.

Various religions believe in the Goodness of God. If God wasn’t Good, why would He urge us to do good deeds? God doesn’t want us to be unhappy.

2. God wants us to be happy because we will then bring more happiness and goodness to our world.

When we are happy, we bring happiness to others because of our positive energy. We are then more generous and kind.

3. It doesn’t benefit God for us to be unhappy.

Why not choose to be happy? God in no way benefits from our low moods.

4. God wants us to be grateful, and gratitude promotes happiness.

Various religions teach the importance of feeling gratitude to God for His blessings. God is telling us an easy way to feel happy—focus on what you should be grateful for.

5. Rules in religion are meant to promote our inner peace by living an ethical life.

Inner peace comes from living an ethical life, true to our values. The rules of religions are for our own inner peace and benefit and are not meant to create resentment and hardship.

6. God wants us to call on Him. He wants to help us with our problems.

God is always there to listen when we are facing difficulties in life. Every religion encourages its followers to call on God for help. It is often in our hardest times that we come closer to God. So, even our problems are blessings if we choose to make them a means to seek God’s nearness.

(The author is a counselor and she has written a lot on issues related to spiritual living)