I Asked You Why But Maybe Now I Won’t

It all began with that grave fear

When I was a small child mere,

And then, because of one dark sin

What a great mess I found myself in!

You know well what it was I did,

Why this didn’t You forbid?

You know how it hurts even now,

So, why did You all this allow?

If, as they claim, You dearly care

For how Your little children fare,

Why did You not then intervene?

Surely, that could easily have been!

Was it something You only permitted,

Or was it by You Yourself committed?

Maybe all this You Yourself got done,

To be amused, or to have some 'fun',

To pass some time and in mere jest,

Or to subject me to some grave test.

Or, did You do it for my own good,

Which perhaps I hadn’t understood,

Or to make me earn just recompense,

A heavy penalty for some offence,

A wrong deed, maybe painful strife,

Done in some distant previous life,

Or to help me be spiritually strong

By being good in the face of wrong,

Thereby making me in virtue grow,

Or some other reason I don’t know,

Or was it part of Your cosmic plan,

That You’ll soon explain if You can

(Maybe You can, for they say of You:

Things for us impossible You can do)?

 Since, as they claim, You can do all,

Why this on me did You let befall?

Why did You permit this to occur?

I ask You why, but You don't answer.

 So, the question of why I’ll now drop,

Asking You to explain I’ll now stop,

But I’ll still hope that, at last, one day,

The reason behind it to me You’ll say.

 But maybe this You won’t ever do

If it’s true that all beings are You.

If we clear the thick fog of duality

And perceive things in their reality,

We might find what I went through

Was both done by You and unto You,

With You giving Yourself all this pain.

Now, if that's so, how can I complain?