God, I’ll Agree to Have You as My Friend Only If….

Hi God! Hope You are doing well,

Here’s something I wanted to tell:

If You are, as they say with seeming authority

(Claiming to know You well with great clarity):

Jealous, severe and very quick to anger,

Joyless, dour, and lacking all humour,

Sour-faced, grim, with a perpetual pout,

A brutal potentate, like some mean lout.

If You brought humans into being simply

To worship You and to sing Your glory.

If You made us just for some weird test,

Or for Your amusement, simply in jest.

If You crave our worship and our fulsome praise.

If You think we are Your slaves, lowly and base.

 If You get furious if we doubt You are real,

And for that into Hell’s fire us You will hurl.

If for You there’s a chosen people, a special race,

Some specially blessed skin colour or sort of face.

If for You only one part of Earth is 'Holy Land',

And all the rest mere mud, stones and sand.

If You sent Your ‘Last Book’ to us centuries before,

As if You're struck dumb and can speak no more.

If You love some of us You and detest all the rest,

If to You some are Your children and others a pest.

If there’s just one path to please You, one religion alone,

Only one way to make You consider us as Your own.

If You think human beings are the best of Your creations,

And You made all the other beings to be their minions.

If You have a specially chosen one and only 'begotten son',

Or final 'incarnation', 'prophet' or 'supremely enlightened one'.

If You have decreed entrance to Paradise to be

Based on faith in some absurd creed, illogically.

If, in a fit of fury, You angrily often may

Curse those who don't do as they claim You say.

If You've made some people 'high' and others 'low',

Predestined Heaven for some, to Hell others will go.

O God, if any, or all, of this is really true,

I don’t want anything to do with You.

But if none of this is so in actual fact,

Despite what they claim with such tact:

If You're not really what they believe You are,

If You are fun to be with, not bitter or sour,

If You love to laugh, joke and giggle,

And with all of us You enjoy to mingle.

If You’ll skip with me and dance as a child,

Gurgle like an infant, innocent and mild,

Then alone, God, will You be acceptable to me,

To have You as my friend only then I'll agree.