Is This a Thing That You Had Willed?

Is this a thing that You had willed,

Which You Yourself got fulfilled:

The trauma I was led to undergo,

Did You decide this must be so?

Did You decree for it all to be,

That this should happen to me:

Years of misery and dreadful fear,

Did all this You really engineer?

Maybe this You did, or maybe not,

But You do know it hurt me a lot,

Oh how awful, how intense the pain

That I thought might drive me insane!

I know not why I was made to face

This madness, this awful disgrace.

You know it all, so maybe one day

The reason for this to me You’ll say.