By Jamal Rahman
The energy of fear is volatile. A little bit of fear is inevitable in our lives. A small amount of it can even be useful at times. For example, fear of having an unhealthy heart keeps one away from eating fatty foods. But if fear is used to manipulate others and control them, it can get completely out of hand and consume everybody, as the following story about the iconic figure Mulla Nasruddin illustrates.
A mother brings her rebellious teenage son to Mulla Nasruddin and says, “Sir, could you please put some fear into my son? He doesn’t listen to his elders. He’s rude and is on drugs.”
So, what does Mulla Nasruddin do? He contorts his face and lets out a deep, dreadful growl, so fearful that the woman faints and the Mulla himself rushes out of the room!
When the woman regains consciousness, she berates the Mulla and says, “I asked you to put some fear into my son, not into me !”
Mulla Nasruddin replies, “Madam, fear has no favourites! When fear is used to control others, it ends up consuming everybody. Didn’t you notice that even I got so scared that I had to rush out of the room?”
There’s another story in this regard that I love to tell, this one by the 13th century sage Jalaluddin Rumi. It is about a mother and her son. Whenever the mother wants her son to do something but he doesn’t want to do it, she says to him, “You better do it, otherwise the boogeyman will get you.”
It’s always the boogeyman getting him if he disobeys his mother.
Now the child is older and he goes to a different school, but he has to pass by a graveyard. The son is frightened. He says, “Mother, every time I pass by the graveyard, the boogeyman is following behind me. I’m so scared!”
This fear continues to haunt the boy. So, the mother finally says to the boy, “Son, all you have to do is face the boogeyman and just go right through him, and I promise you the boogeyman will evaporate.”
The son is a little hesitant, and so, the mother says, “Don’t you believe me? I’m your mother!”
The boy responds, “No, no, mother, I believe you, but what if the boogeyman’s mother tells the boogeyman the same thing? Boogeymen have mothers, too, you know!”
May these stories make us realise the dangers of using fear to control and manipulate others, for it can easily spiral out of control.
(Based in the USA, Jamal Rahman is a popular speaker and author. His passion lies in interfaith community building and activism)