Is It Just This That I Have To Live For?

Is it just this that I have to live for,

Or is there really something more,

More than merely struggling to survive,

A greater purpose for remaining alive?

From morning to night and day to day,

In tiring trivia whiling my time away,

Managing somehow to not turn insane,

Is this all that I’m destined to attain?

Dragging myself from ‘today’ to ‘tomorrow’,

While nursing within painful unsaid sorrow,

Sheer emptiness inside and racked with fear,

Is this the 'reason why You brought me here?

Contending silently with spite and scorn,

Is this why You made me here to be born?

Lingering on, merely waiting until

Your plan for my being here You fulfill

And then You arrange for me to go

Some place else that You alone know,

Praying that quickly that day may arrive,

Till then barely managing to stay alive,

Somehow passing my days, one by one,

Doing this till my earthly term is done

And when from here You’ll recall me,

Ending thereby the deadening anomie:

To exist this way surely cannot be

The purpose why here You’ve sent me.

This is what deep down I seem to feel,

Your real purpose please now reveal,

So I can know Your sending me here,

On Your Earth causing me to appear,

 Was well worth it, most truly so,

Worth all the troubles I had to undergo.